Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize