Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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