I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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