Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i believe in u and ur pee
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