You work out of a Hotel?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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