chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
