i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
