she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
