Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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