Cold hands, warm shart.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
