Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
