yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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