I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
