I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
