So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
