i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
