thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
