I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
