So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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