So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
