OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
