I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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