you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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