I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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