So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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