Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
