It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can feel your judgement through the phone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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