I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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