We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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