Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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