I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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