some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I could fuck to npr.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
