Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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