The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
