Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will pee on everything he values.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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