I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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