god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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