Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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