I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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