dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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