I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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