he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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