I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
