At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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