No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Less talking, more tequila
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
