Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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