Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
