Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize