I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
