I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
