Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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