Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
