I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
