Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drunk is not a location!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
