We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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