Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i've created a new STD.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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