Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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