All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
