chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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