omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
