So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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