she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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