I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
