watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
