white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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