oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
