is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want you more than these girls want KFC
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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