Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize